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Ask Methos

Methos, do you have another name?

Well, if you ask Duncan, my first name is Ohitsjustyou.

For a 5000-year-old fogie, you seem pretty hip (Queen fan, etc.). How do you manage to stay so young while being so old?

:::squish::: Ugh! I think I just stepped in horse doo-doo.

(right) 5000 years ago — my angry adolescence in the Bronze Age.

I don't know. I guess after 2000 years or so, you stop paying attention and start living.

After 5000 years, you must have known some interesting people. For example, did you know Alexander the Great?

Did I know Alexander The Great? You could say that...

You lived in the time of Jesus Christ. Did He really exist?

Well, He did exist, but contrary to popular belief, His middle name was not H.

Which is the one place you've been in the 20th century that you hated with a deep passion and don't care to see again?

That would be the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Which is the one period of the 20th century that you hated with a deep passion and don't care to see again?

The 20s. Prohibition.

You say you spent centuries losing your conscience. Can you pin down the century when you realized that you had shaken it completely?

Well, I thought I'd shaken it completely in the 11th century, but bad habits die hard, and thanks to MacLeod, it occasionally rears its ugly head.

Methos, where did you originally come from?

My mother.

Does it come with a fig leaf?

(right) Maybe my mother was a Greek goddess...
Or my father was Dionysus...


Many of you have written and said, "You don't have a mother." Granted, like I've said, everything before I took my first head 5000 years ago is a bit blurry, and I don't remember my mother (and I definitely don't know who my real mother is) but, as the stork didn't bring me, I'm fairly sure I did, in some sense, have a mother. Now whether she was a witch, an alien, a hermaphrodite, or God is beyond my power of recollection. But thank you for all the tactful "you don't have a mother" comments. Fortunately, by now, I'm over being sensitive about that.

Methos, you seem to enjoy a good beer and have sampled different ones through the ages. What do you like best with a good ale?

Shakespeare. After a couple of drinks, it reads better: "Two beers or not two beers... What was the question?"

Wine may be fine, but beer is better

(right) I don't always drink beer. Sometimes I have wine...

Do you like the beer today better than the beer however far back you want to go, or do you think, as I do, that American beer tastes like watered-down shit?

I've never actually had watered-down shit so I can't make that comparison (but I'll take your word for it since you've apparently had both). At any rate, I don't drink much American beer. Strictly European. I would especially recommend Belgian lager, particularly Stella Artois. Seems a guy named Peter Wingfield did a TV commercial for that brand once... And yes, beer tastes better today (if you get a good brew, that is).


You had 68 wives. Did you ever tell any of them that you were Immortal?

I made that mistake once — with wife #38. That was painful (in more ways than one!). Believe me, if you ever have a "significant other," never tell him or her that you've been married 37 times before.

(left) Alexa Bond, my 68th wife — for a short while.

What is all the fuss about your toes?

Well, I sincerely hope that women don't find them the most attractive part of my anatomy, but I'll take what I can get. I think I'll start walking barefoot more often.

After all the great music you have lived through, from the ancient Greeks and their tales to the English bards to the masterpieces created by Beethoven, Brahms and Chopin, who does a better blues riff? Eric Clapton or Joe?

Really, now. Joe, of course. (He is, in a sense, my boss, after all.)

The questions and answers on this page were originally compiled by Dawn.

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