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Ask Methos

Tell me how you took your first head.

With my first sword.

Methos, have you ever commited suicide? Or ever tried?

No, never. Although there were a few times I thought about it — like when it was Caspian's turn to make supper.

What? I shouldn't have defaced the photo? I'm sorry...

With your impeccable physique, have you ever been asked to model for a statue? Michaelangelo's "David" for example?

Just where are you heading with this question? No, but I was asked to stand in for Incitatus one day when Caligula was being sculptured. (Incitatus was his horse, to whom he was, er, unusually attached. Emperor Caligula even appointed Incitatus to the Roman Senate — and the horse did a better job than most politicians I've seen...)

(left) Posing as Michaelangelo's David? I think not.

My favorite parts of your anatomy are your hands and that gorgeous nose. We shook hands once (on a cruise recently) and I noticed how soft your hands are. How do you keep them that soft? ;-)
The Trampoline Lady

No calluses here.

I try not to walk on my hands too often. That causes Kalas — uh — calluses. Actually, same difference since Kalas is also thick, hardened and insensible, as well as a self-proclaimed literary critic... (see next question)

(right) And I wash my hands too...

I think that the Methos Chronicles would be a big bestseller. I can think of lots of women who would buy it. Any chance you will write your autobiography? What would the title be?

I already have an autobiography — I've been keeping a journal for 5000 years. However, given Kalas' critique of my prose, I think it's best that it remain unpublished for now.

As for titles, how about...

  • A Not-So-Brief History of Time
  • I Went with Six Monks in a Leaky Boat
  • The Nose Knows (er, no, not that one)
  • Blue Faced and Tombstone Free

I know you didn't understand the hieroglyphics... Maybe if I translated?

Maybe I'll even pose as David for the cover. (That was joke... Please don't send any letters, votes or petitions in favor of.)

(right) Everyone's a critic — Kalas' rather extreme reaction after reading my journal...

So Methos, what's your take on kids today? Any different from kids a few thousand years ago?
Mandi Gordon

Kids haven't changed. Neither have adults — especially Immortals — unfortunately...

Don't you feel any guilt about getting Kronos killed? He was your brother after all. And he was a lot more fun than Duncan or Cassandra. Isn't it amazing that he keeps showing up, even though he is dead, just like Fitz?

Thanks for the unsettling question... Kronos got himself killed. I regret that in 3000 years he didn't grow up, but I'm not going to accept responsibility for it. My feelings toward Kronos are more or less the same as my feelings for Cassandra (take that any way you want...). And both of them are a bit too much "fun" for me. I'll stick with good old predictable MacLeod, thanks.

Yet another bad-hair day for the leader of the Horsemen.

(right) The ghost of Kronos past.

You claim to be the oldest man. That does not, however, rule out the possibilities of there being Immortal women who are much older than you! Who is the oldest woman you have ever met?

A couple days later:

Why didn't you answer my previous question? I can't even remember what it was.

After a few days:

Oh, wonderful man! (See, I'm flattering you!) Why haven't you answered my question yet? ... And I have another question for you so you can just forget about the first one because even I can't remember what it was. I want to know: Are you in love with Amanda? There have been so many hints on the television show. Are you staying away from her because of your respect for Mac, or are you and Amanda having a secret affair? You wouldn't believe how curious I am to find out the truth!
Gulmaram, the Immortal Gypsy Queen

Aw, c'mon! Who do I look like? Dear Abby? I've got a life to live, you know?

Looks like bad-hair day is contagious.

(right) A woman scorned the reason I don't date Immortals — and Duncan's old lady. :::ducking::: Amanda, sorry! It was a joke, okay?

The oldest woman I've met — I'd say it was Cassandra (3000 years) but it's hard to know for sure. You think only mortal women lie about their age? The next oldest woman I know of would be Nefertiri (2000 years, from "Pharaoh's Daughter").

And, no, I'm not in love with Amanda. (Hints? What hints?!) I try not to date Immortal women — one nasty breakup and I have to spend centuries hiding my head (take the aforementioned Cassandra, for example). Anyway, Amanda's not my type. I find it hard to fall for someone who thinks breaking Kalas out of jail is a Good Idea. What is my type? Less gregarious, more intellectual and introspective.

Clark Kent?

I finally found the answer! I saw a commercial recently for Stella Artois (I am from Belgium) and I couldn't believe my eyes! What was our Favourite Old Guy doing in a commercial for Belgian beer?! I had to see it a few times before I believed it, and it took some time to convince my friends it was really him! I just didn't like the girl next to him. She is the girlfriend of a very popular Belgian singer. So, Methos, how much beer did you get for this commercial?
Ilse Van Hove

The eye glasses make a difference, don't they? Maybe I ought to wear them more often. It worked for Clark Kent... That popular Belgian singer, that wouldn't be Byron, would it??? As for how much beer I got — not enough! I've drunk it all out!

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